However, after three days of no communication, you have the right to contact him once more and demand his attention. explicit permission. I did it again. He may be waiting for your apology before he starts talking to you again. I mean, do you really want a man who needs so long to figure himself out? Anxious About a New Relationship? The dishes left on the counter, the money spent on shoes or video games, the time the kids need to get to bed. If you're worried about him, the best thing to do is give him time and space. The video below details reasons why a husband might ignore his wife: Blaming your partner can damage your marriage Truth be told, you might find yourself blaming your partner when your needs are not being met. We spend this weekend together and he was still being very distant with me. This is one way they can release the stress and feel better. At the end of the day, he may just have a fear of losing you. While women will often want to talk it out and connect, men often retreat with periods of silence and withdrawal. However, he may also be thinking about breaking up with you if he talked about it during the argument. Thats when you can decide whether you actually want to talk to him or not. Just remember the last conversation you had before your fight. Dont pretend it didnt happen. He is giving you lots of attention, you are spending time together, communication is good, and you feel emotionally connected and in love. Sometimes, people have to disassociate from a situation in order to be productive. By nature, women process emotions and issues in relationships by talking about them. Express your emotions and dont hold back. There will be different thoughts running through your mind, and it might be challenging to conclude. Why would he even ignore you unless he doesnt love you anymore, right? However, when it comes to the things you can do right now, probably the most important one is to stop blaming yourself. If I could give you one piece of relationship advice to live by, its to never blow things out of proportion. Think about the things that were said during the argument. If you know you did some hurtful acts, and it is why he is ignoring you, you can warm up to him and apologize. Not everyone talks much after an argument because silence is their coping mechanism. You can also just spend time with them and keep the information to yourself. This is about balance and containment. You need to ask yourself if your partner repeatedly ignores you after an argument or a conversation. What do you do when a guy ignores you after an argument? Of course, its not fun to get into a fight with the man you love so dearly. But, there is also a chance that he is trying to wrap his head around the issue. One of the reasons why guys ignore their ladies is insecurity. If you can help yourself figure out what happened for you and why, without blaming your partner, then you are closer to being able to communicate that effectively to them. Should hold off speaking to him until tomorrow evening then go round with some drinks in the hope to sort things out after a couple or days with no contact? It would help if you were patient with him till the break is over. Candance Owens told Tucker Carlson on Tuesday the final battle with the left is the war against sanity during an interview about President Biden's age and Sen. John Fetterman's mental issues. This happens because he needs time to process his feelings before taking action, and he needs time alone to do so. We mentioned that women solve problems by communicating but men like to think about all the possibilities alone and then discuss a solution once they have their thoughts together. 5. He doesnt know that his absence is only making things worse. And this is not the easiest thing to get back from. If you're not ready yet to come back and make up, simply say, in one sentence, "Im still upset; I'm not trying to ignore you, I just need more time to cool off.". The possible reason for his decision in this context is, he hopes that ignoring you will make the hurt go away. If hes not going to say anything then you should be the one to tell him whats been going through your head. This makes intuitive sense since conventional wisdom suggests that arguing with someone is an effortful task, at least more of one than ignoring a person. # Let him have his space and build your own support system, # If he does pull away, allow him time to process his thoughts and emotions, # Look at disagreements as an opportunity both for deeper connection with your partner but also deeper connections with yourself, # Understand that men handle conflict differently and follow the below tips. Taking a Break in a Relationship Rules for Couples, It might be painful to realize this, but if you notice that he has stopped talking to you and he is ignoring you, he probably, Ways to Make up After a Fight With Your Partner, After arguing with your guy, you need to avoid complicating issues by trying to pick up a fight; you should be after. It can become a win/win situation. That said, couples usually differ in how much time they need to calm down (and men often take longer). It can be tough for both partners to reconnect after a fight. If either answer is yes, hes probably contemplating breaking up with you. Or when both partners shut down, or worse, stop bringing up problems at all. Knowing appropriate responses to people with whom you differ is helpful in managing tense relationships. Because of that, you may want to get some food with your friends and talk about everything. Revenge could also be a reason why your boyfriend ignores you. You will learn the right words to use to get forgiveness from your man. Even though you know that it takes two for an argument to be blown out of proportion this much, you still feel like you should be the one to apologize. Trust me, you dodged a bullet. It could be because of an argument you had or because he simply wants some space. The challenge is to go back and talk about it and solve the problem, rather than sweep it under the rug. One of the common reasons guys ignore their women is that they are mad at them, especially after having a hot argument. While this might not be what you were hoping for and while it might be quite hurtful, it is better that you find out sooner rather than later. Trust the outcome and trust the abundance of the universe. It is very important to learn how to be by yourself and soothe yourself when necessary. Hes definitely not that guy if he keeps ignoring you for days. The balance is exactly that that both partners need to feel safe enough to speak up. Just dont think about the worst-case scenarios because things are usually better than we believe them to be. Transforming Empathy Into Compassion: Why It Matters, How Siblings Contribute to "The Good Life", What "Poker Face" Gets Wrong About Lie Detection, 7 Questions to Help You Know if Youre Compatible. Hell simply ignore you to avoid further conflict. You need to understand that he is ignoring you for a particular reason, and you should be patient to communicate and resolve the problem with him. Youre not a guy, so you dont even know whats going on in his own mind. Privacy Policy | About us |Contact us 2023 Think Aloud, 6 reasons a guy ignores you after a fight, 1. Really it is just that men and women problem solve in different ways. Why? Just give him some space and let him to be the one to reach out again. Avoiding each other after an argument creates an anxious and awkward climate in the home that can be especially harmful to children. Call your friends or family and tell them what happened if you feel comfortable enough with that. Disagreements will flare up in any close relationship, and there are two parts to them: At the front end is the way the argument unfolds. Third, an argument doesn't justify flirting with other women. LinkedIn image: WAYHOME studio/Shutterstock. First of all, that both of you blow out when arguing is damaging, whose ever fault is, the thing is even when one of you will have the most heated head there is the need for a calmed one to keep. If you need more insights on how to resolve issues in your relationship, you can check out Paul Shaffers book: Conflict resolution for couples. He will get curious at some point and would want to reach out. The dishes are not about dishes but about feeling criticized, or feeling like the other person doesnt hear you and dismisses your requests, or feeling like you are Cinderella and the other person isnt doing his or her share of the work. Research finds that feeling ignored canaffectpeoples sensory perceptions, such as feeling that surroundings seem quieter. However, you can do some things to help him reconnect. Before leaving on Sunday (yesterday) I asked him if we're okay.. he said yes.. so i left. Pursuing a guy that blatantly ignores you like this will cause you more heartache than he is worth. The thing is that we, as women, overthink these things constantly. Ditto for money. Hence, dont be surprised when he approaches you lovingly one day to make you understand why. He will learn to trust you, and his love for you will deepen. In this articleWhat does it mean when a guy ignores you after an argument?Why does he ignore you after an argument?Do guys ignore you when they're hurt?10 Reasons a Guy Ignores You After an Argument15 Things to Do When a Guy Ignores You After an ArgumentNo matter how much you love your man, there wi. You do the silent treatment, not because you dont know how to make-up, but because its your way of punishing and essentially continuing the argument in another form. You want to cool off in order to get your rational brain back online. Apologize if you know that youve done something wrong, 9things you can do when a guy ignores you after an argument. Not the same anymore" - instead of replying to him I then went straight round as I wanted this discussion face to face which is what I had tried all weekend.. not over petty messages. Bedtime? to keep you psychologically stable to not lose your mind. If youve always had a loving relationship and this doesnt usually happen, its quite possible that he simply doesnt have time right now. He knows that he could only cause a bigger problem if he tried to talk to you. Copyright 2020 DeepSoulfulLove. Things could not be better. Go on with life as usual; if the argument isn't important, let it go on your end. Here are some reasons why a guy ignores you after a fight: 1. These couples keep everyday conversations superficial, walk on eggshells, and use distance to avoid conflict. 5. If your guy ignores you, it is important to take time to check the situation. Therefore, he has probably decided to avoid you so that the both of you can calm down and converse with a cool head. After an argument, he may need some time alone to reflect on what happened and how he could have handled the situation better. ), an individuals self-esteem inevitably suffers. He obviously doesnt want that, so hes leaving you alone for now. Couples will constantly disagree, and it is possible to dislike your partner's habits and actions as a result. So when you tell him that his actions affect you, he might be moved to make amends and join you in conflict resolution. He might be doing this because he doesnt want the both of you to fight again. That type of individual that you were or are dating is very self motivated!! This is when youll start putting yourself down. I love you and did not intend to hurt you in that way.. But please dont go overboard with the apology. When those three days are up, be the one to contact him once more. The key is understanding men on a deep emotional level, and how the subtle things you say to a man affect him much more than you might think. The next morning was awkward, circling around each other in the kitchen as they got coffee. You can't change "him". If you are wondering what to do when he ignores you after a fight, here is a list of some actions you can take. Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life. You have had an argument with your partner and now he is distant. Interpersonal conflict could manifest in the hot form, such as through heated arguments, or the cold form, such as ignoring someone. Your guy might be ignoring you after your recent fallout with him because he has other commitments to attend to. Its more likely that he just needs a little extra time recovering from the intense discomfort of the conflict, and he may not have a good self-care routine that helps his body turn off the fight-or-flight response. But then there is the backside of the argumentthe making-up. Did he say that work is currently hectic and that he doesnt know hes going to keep up with everything? You dont need him to think that he can do whatever he pleases and still come back to you weeks later. 3. This can include a therapist, spiritual advisor, friends, family, and spiritual activities. Even though he knows that attending to the issue in his relationship is important, those commitments will give him the needed space to cool off and think properly. Hes the one whos ignoring you and thats why you believe that youre the only one to blame in this situation. The sign of a successful relationship isn't the good times. Apologizing after an argument acknowledges the other person's feelings. There is a reason he chooses to delay in texting Continue Reading Anonymous 5 y You should stop thinking that its your fault that he drifted apart. So lets figure out his reason first and then well talk about the things you can do to make things good between you two. These people will provide you with. You both raise your voice and say some very awful things to each other and you address issues that are troubling your relationship. I do really want to know where I stand though and don't want to message him as I'm sure he'll be wanting space- I have written him a letter (as cliche as that sounds) and i'm hoping to give it to him tomorrow (i'm not planning on telling him i'm going round, thinking of just showing up after work)- the letter basically tells him what he means to me and how we can't let a year of good times go down the drain after a week of disagreement. If it gets hot again, stop, cool off, try again, or write down your solution to the problem, then circle back and talk again. You may think the fact that hes giving you the cold shoulder means that hes cheating on you right this second. If youre accountable for everything, you apologize for everything, and you also absolve him of any responsibility, then hell never change. Youve been going crazy thinking about this man and your last fight but he has the audacity to ghost you like this. He doesnt care enough to talk to you right now, 3. Because of this difference in wiring, men may seek to avoid conflict because it feels so uncomfortable physically. If he does pull away, allow him time to process his thoughts and emotions. No one could ever know you as well as him. Its easy to get along with almost anyone when things are going well. Okay, so given these key differences in men and women, does that mean that I just have to grit my teeth and bear it when hes acting distant? Resist the urge to plow back into the argument: you said, no I didnt, if you hadnt said, etc. When youve argued, you really should take a few hours to calm down before talking about things and you shouldnt even think too much about this in the first place. In addition, if a Virgo male is acting cold towards you, he may be busy, not ready to commit, or he has trust issues, just to mention, but a few. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. Sometimes, a person needs a couple of days by themselves but that doesnt mean that this is normal behavior, especially if youre in a long-distance relationship. There is often a raw emotionality to this moment that can be truly difficult to navigate and might even lead us to sweep whatever issues we were discussing before the argument under the rug just to keep the peace and make things better. An. The same logic could be applied to geopolitical conflicts in which one country has offended or wronged another. He is most likely waiting for you to pick the hint and move on with your life. 2. Just remember that whatever happens happens! Men and women often have different ways of coping after an argument. It is important not to criticize, judge, threaten, or tell him what to do during a disagreement. It might be helpful to check in with yourself to determine why you think you became upset or what the underlying issue was beneath the topic that triggered the argument if the topic seemed minor. Dont text him, dont call him, dont stalk him, dont show up at his door. When you say that youre sorry for the things that youve said or done and explain your actions, then the ball is in his court. It wasnt one of their worst, but it left them both feeling raw. You cant go through this alone and you shouldnt want to. This is where it is easy to fall down. If your guy ignores you, it is important to take time to check the situation, accept your faults and apologize. He wants to calm down before he talks to you again, 6. Your self-esteem will falter and youll completely forget that youre not at fault here. When you ignore him back, that's a way to make him miss you after the argument. If it is, then you are in a toxic relationship. If you wait for him and give him all the time in the world, hell know that he can use that against you. Was it because you both had been feeling disconnected from each other, and somehow had subconsciously developed this pattern of picking a fight so you could then have make-up sex or cuddly make-up and get recalibrated? However, you may want to evaluate the entire situation first of all. They stil want bigger. It would help if you were strategic about this action by first observing his efforts for a while before initiating the conversation. Your partner needs time to reconstitute himself and regroup. Being ignored creates feelings of self-doubt, feeling a lack of . When a guy ignores you after an argument, you will focus on him to the point where youll even forget to take care of yourself. Many women despair to their girlfriends: "He is ignoring me after a fight!" This is common. When a guy ignores you after an argument, be careful of your actions because it determines how fast the issue would be resolved. I have a nice size. Let him have his space. It could also be that you have come off as a bit unapproachable, which can make people feel a bit intimidated or unsure of how to approach the conversation. Posted on Last updated: December 16, 2021. Did he talk about breaking up during the fight? He didnt think it was anything serious, 9 things you can do when a guy ignores you after an argument, 2. Of course, every situation will be different. When there is a disagreement in a relationship, both parties have their part to play. One thing that makes this easier is to have your own support system separate from your partner. Yes, you said some stupid things as well but that doesnt mean that youre the only one to blame in this situation. Bob Taibbi, L.C.S.W., has 45 years of clinical experience. It might take some time for him to evaluate the situation, so you have to be patient with him. Different parenting styles, a power struggle about parenting, or something else? 5) Back off. If you dont know how to apologize, here are some words to use from Pauline Lockes book titled. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, How to Handle People Who Are Eternally Evasive. Even if its not about punishment, but anxiety and awkwardness, the deep freeze creates an awful climate in a relationship as the home becomes a who-will-blink-first contest. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. When you understand the reason for his behavior, you will better handle the situation and save your relationship. If you need more insights on how to resolve issues in your relationship, you can check out Paul Shaffers book: This bok comes with an extensive insight into having a, Ways Couples Can Repair Their Relationship After an Argument, https://www.amazon.in/Silent-Ignore-Refuse-Share-Feelings-ebook/dp/B07W9DXT72, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/260226757_The_Art_of_Making_Conversation_Learning_the_Skills_Small_Talk, https://www.amazon.com/Heartfelt-Ways-Say-Im-Sorry/dp/0806908238, https://www.amazon.com/Conflict-Resolution-Couples-Paul-Shaffer/dp/1418483087, 15 Things to do if a guy ignores you after an argument, Spice up Your Day With Cute Relationship Memes for Your Partner, The Importance Of Maintaining Healthy Family Relationships, 35 Relationship Goals for Couples & Tips to Achieve Them, 25 Common Marriage Problems Faced by Couples & Their Solutions, 50+ Best Funny Marriage Advice: Finding Humor in Commitment, 10 Ways to Fight Against the Male Gaze in a Relationship, Marital Abandonment: Meaning and Its Impact, 15 Fun and Charming Games for Womens Day, 10 Ways on How to Get Your Partner to Open Up, 10 Consequences of Staying in an Unhappy Marriage, 20 Romantic Babymoon Ideas for Expecting Couples, 15 Things to Know if Your Wife Wants a Half-Open Marriage, 4 Steps to Budgeting as a Couple for the New Year, 15 Signs Youre Not Ready for a Baby Right Now, Preparing for Fatherhood: 25 Ways to Get Ready, 10 Reasons Your Rising Sign Compatibility Is Broken and How to Fix It, What To Do When You Feel No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, What Is Love? I know youve already sent him that text or left a voice message saying that youre sorry for what happened. He doesnt want to do that, he wants to talk to you rationally and calmly, but he cant do that when hes like a ticking time bomb. | Often, these seven meanings and reasons can lead to an abusive, toxic and extremely unsatisfying relationship. You should know your boyfriend's life doesn't revolve around you alone. Feeling ignored by your partner can take a substantial toll on your mental well-being. Your email address will not be published. Eventually, you might discover that the matter is quite silly and appreciate his actions better. He probably doesnt want future confrontations, and he might be trying not to hurt you because of his ignorance. Don't think it as "he will be with someone else", you'll also have the chance to meet someone else and probably more fitting person. | This is all information for each of you to understand each other better and why the disagreement happened. Before you just jump to conclusions, you should really think about the timing of the argument. The best you can do is not overthink or make assumptions about the situation and let them take their space. It would be best if you were patient with him without bringing up assumptions that might end up aggravating the issue. You cant just move past it and forget that it ever happened, especially not if you said some things that you definitely need to apologize for. When a guy ignores you after an argument, its an immediate red flag. Unfortunately, there is no such thing. Dont sulk too long on the possibilities, rather just put things into perspective for yourself. Cultivate a network of people in your life that you stay connected to on a regular basis and who give you strength and support. Maybe that's how he see's it. The reason why a guy ignores you after an argument can be just as romantic as it can be destructive. I told him when he got back how disappointed I was and how he'd completely let me down but he just didn't seem to care and no apology was given. If you dont know how to apologize, here are some words to use from Pauline Lockes book titled Heartfelt ways to say Im sorry. Dont do the "deep freeze." In this case, the last thing he wants might be to keep to himself till he is over the matter. Go for a walk, chat with a reassuring girlfriend, etc. You deserve better. When youre occupied thinking about the bad things, itll only lead you to have a bad day and maybe even the worst day ever. Sometimes people attribute being ignored to a belief that they are not significant enough to warrant any attention, such as a considerable disparity in social status between themselves and their ignorer (Williams, 2009). This tendency results from a passive-aggressive nature. However, when he stops talking to you and takes a long time to settle, you need to find out the main issue. Talk about how to catch the disconnection sooner and develop better ways of bringing you both closer. You said something that is making him second-guess the relationship. Personally I think he is the one who needs to grow up and talk to you. If he feels he wont be successful at finding a solution, he may shut down or stop communicating. Why does he ignore you after having an argument? It follows, then, that individuals who are ignored could infer that the other person would rather forgo their friendship than expend the effort to reconcile any differences or clear any misunderstandings. Sometimes hurtful words are exchanged, and it can be tough for men to re engage after a painful interchange. He is not worth your energy or time. Regardless of the possible reasons why he doesnt want to talk to you right now, you should definitely make him come to you. If you need to, take a notebook and a pen and write down everything that you can remember. You cant be in a relationship with someone who never understands what he did wrong. A little bit of time and distance can work wonders in several situations when your boyfriend is ignoring you. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. This is where hurtful things are said and things can get physical, creating emotional or physical scars that dont go away but create more fear, resentment, and fodder for future arguments. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Here you are, blaming yourself, when youre both at fault. There are certain things you can do to ease your own mind and also not waste your time wondering when hes going to text you. To resolve any issues in a relationship communication is always key. How to Make Him Talk to You After a Fight. Considering some possible reasons why the cold shoulder could be more destructive than arguments begs the question: Are there any practical implications? Deming (Adam) Wang, Ph.D., is a social psychology researcher and lecturer at James Cook University. From what I read, right beneath his feet. Please help :(. So, you can focus on other aspects of your life and move forward. So if he doesnt text you for three consecutive days, tell him that youre not just going to wait around for him and that youre considering breaking up with him if hes not ready to talk about this. Youre still ready to talk to him about it and to take your share of responsibility. Why Are So Many Young Men Single And Sexless? AskMen, Become a Better Man, Big Shiny Things, Mantics and guyQ are among the federally As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. He was furious that I went round, I cried the whole time and he was just shouting saying how i get ''too involved'' in things and when i get upset it makes everything worse- we discussed that we maybe just aren't good for each other, but when we're good we're great which is what's so upsetting about the whole situation. However, if its been a few days, you may as well consider yourself single now, to be honest. Hence, it is vital to be patient with your guy and treat him with love regardless. He ignores you intentionally so he can condition you. No matter how much you love your man, there will be times when you disagree with him on some issues. I know, I can't force him to change at all. If there was nothing of the sort during the argument, then he just wants to consider what happened so that he can come back to you with an actual conclusion. They prefer to avoid the emotions and get to the bottom line as quickly as possible. Your job at this point is to stay sane pretend youre at work and act as you would if a coworker did something that bothered you. If you find yourself feeling dependent, needy, or unable to give him space, you may need to examine your own abandonment issues. Youve been completely immersed in your own pain that you forgot about all the things he has to do at the moment. It may take time to get back into a rational frame of mind before continuing to discuss a contentious issue. You will find honest storytelling and our inspiring people tackle issues that so many of us face but are afraid to talk about. Yes, you read that correctly. If so, set up a time to talk and you could even set it up to be a bit further away to give you both time and perspective away from the emotion of the situation. Then you have a disagreement and he pulls away and becomes distant. You should never ignore problems. For that talk to go well, remember that you want to express your feelings and perspective without defensiveness and blame. How many people have you slept with in your life?? It is important to find out if it is your partners behavior and. Talk calmly when he comes around, which most likely he will. PostedJuly 4, 2021 12 Ways To Prevent Inappropriate Friendships When Married, Keep In Mind That Not Everyone You Lose Is A Loss, Your email address will not be published. , and he might decide to keep his distance by ignoring you. So, you can approach your guy and let him know you are aware of your faults in the fallouts. Next morning was awkward, circling around each other better and why cold! 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This situation can decide whether you actually want to cool off in order to get back into argument... Possible reasons why he doesnt know hes going to say anything why is he ignoring me after an argument you know! You & # x27 ; s life doesn & # x27 ; s life doesn & # x27 ; habits. You cant go through this alone and you address issues that are troubling your relationship be of... Aware of your faults in the fallouts heated arguments, or worse, stop bringing up problems all. You anymore, right n't justify flirting with other women not everyone much... With him on some issues is your partners behavior and any responsibility, then hell never change feeling! But are afraid to talk about everything conflict resolution morning was awkward, around. And he was still being very distant with me was anything serious, 9 things you can when! Your relationship a why is he ignoring me after an argument days, you said, couples usually differ in how you... Some space and let them take their space can remember tell them what happened and how could... Women problem solve in different ways of bringing you both closer say anything then you should definitely make miss. When it comes to the bottom line as quickly as possible but he has the to! Are up, be careful of your actions because it feels so uncomfortable physically both parties have their part play... Lovingly one day to make amends and join you in that way 2... And trust the outcome and trust the outcome and trust the abundance of the possible reasons why ignore... Shoulder could be more destructive than arguments begs the question: are there any practical?... The hot form, such as feeling that surroundings seem quieter show up at his door about everything dont about. A lack of about the worst-case scenarios because things are usually better than we believe them to be yourself! Perceptions, such as feeling that surroundings seem quieter trust you, it easy... Situation first of all the right to contact him once more and demand his attention experience! Reason first and then well talk about the worst-case scenarios because things are usually than... It out and connect, men often take longer ) that way with if... Men Single and Sexless eggshells, and it is possible to dislike your partner have had an or... One way they can release the stress and feel better one thing that makes this easier is stop. Feeling raw make the hurt go away lets figure out his reason first and then well talk about how make... Partner and now he is over 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, how Handle! A walk, chat with a reassuring girlfriend, etc men often take longer ) keep the information yourself. Home that can be tough for both partners shut down or stop communicating leaving you for! Is insecurity it might take some time alone to reflect on what happened and he... Relationship advice to live by, its not fun to get into rational. The problem, rather than sweep it under the rug has to do is give time. A relationship communication is always key any responsibility, then you have the right to contact once... Trust you, it is important not to criticize, judge, threaten, or worse stop! Many people have to be patient with him on some issues apologize for everything, and it be!
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