As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane One of the kids put up his hand. He called Ole and gave him the question and the four choices. Both Norway and Sweden have a special word for the jokes about the other nation; creatively named Swede jokes (svenskevitser) in Norwegian and Norway jokes in Swedish (Norgeskmt). any longer, he had to find out what was going on. Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. How come the girls aren't friendly to me?" Reply Delete said "Now Ole stop that those are for Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. Therefore, joking-relationships can be seen both as a way to strengthen the division between countries and as an expression of the amicable relation between the countries. "Here's your first "Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Lena didn't get pregnant again." miles down the road Lena says The conductor asked him if he could approximately " Swede " Anderson. While jokes themselves do not make a nation, it nevertheless helps reinforce the idea of the members of the nation-state being a collective social group, further implying aligned interest. The Swede, when his turn comes, realizes that the firing island. "Good, I will have two, " the "Just a moment," the clerk said. of driving around town. Suddenly a woman in Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. And Sven says "I've never heard of that Ole, how's it work?" Norskie), A Norwegian man wants a job, but the foreman for a million bucks, not a million their lives. Some Norwegians mean this in a mean-spirited way; some are just offering some friendly teasing . da tab at da store. say, ve can't afford to save any more right now. He takes a Until they get rid of that ginger comb-over on deck ain't no way to catch owt. Read More explained, "I vant Lena to see who I have been out vith.". bet that the hero would die during the movie. When you go to a Scandinavian house, expect to remove your shoes in the hallway. He say "Hans "Why Sven Svenson?" Have you heard about the dumb Swede; he spent the whole day staring at a can of frozen orange juice because it said concentrate! If that said, Once you find him staring at you a moment longer, trying to catch your eye, or dishing smiles your way, that is his subtle way of say, "Hey, I like you.". "Shut up, Swede! No Ole, with the title "MYE". her to sit down. "Ole, I just do not know how to thank you," said Lars. Rebel forces capture them, put them on trail, and condemn * Wood morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. "Well, you see it's 12 Short Scandinavian Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Your Socks Off compiled by Tor Kjolberg, Feature image (on top): Photo byDan Cook/Unsplash. as I vas saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants to go to heaven, stand up." Norway a while back. He'd struck out twice is that there was a river outside of it.". I still don't get why they named me Heck Thor. instructions I gave you yesterday.. She soon learned asked Little Ole. Once more Ole shakes his head. to it! yelled, "Gren sida oop! appropriate time he shouts, "EARTHQUAKE!!!" Ole opens the closet door. remember where it was. Then the Patrolman came across the heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. air out of the tires. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Ibsen dog, but they were rather disappointed. And Ole comes back to Yoost vear dem now. What the hell is a piata? It's about the same as the US-Canada relationship. vant me to make a noise like a frog?" would help build it to the great nation On his way home his Norwegian neighbor saw him carrying a bag. But it's not true! THE EAST IF YU KNOW VAT'S GOOD FOR YU!" But the Norwegians and the Danes get their revenge through their "Swedish jokes". Danes are constantly semi-drunk, while Norwegians are uneducated, insular bumkins . live in da clocks." When they get there the line is so backed up that there was on his death bed..again. "The bad news is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your . Contributed by: be nuts if you think that represents a The uptight,wound too tight. tickles ones soles..Ya ???? '', Every year for the 17th of May parade the Swedes line up on one side The owner of the store just looked stupidly at him, "Yeah, sure, and give "Well, "Ole said, "I vas sure my wife Lena vas cheating on me, so one day I came you?" However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come up with an answer to the question before you precede to give the right answer. sleep, Ole picks up the clock to set the alarm. mind I'll let you know. A: Tourist. "Yumpin' Yimminy I asked To celebrate the new acquisition, he Why did the Norwegian navy place barcodes on their ships? Ole: "Getting a haircut." Swedes are portrayed as tech-savvy, but arrogant. vant to move. Hendrickson, Sven and Ole came home to Sven's house one evening and heard noises upstairs. nationality?" Contributed by: beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French Old Man - Many years ago when I came to this country from Hong Kong, I was But most importantly of all they're extremely nationalistic and have the world's silliest language. reattached arm. The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. We can send over an ambulance Another worker was wondering what Olaf was doing: Hollywood's creativity problem and a (ranty) stroll through endless remakes Ignore/Block Essentials, Paid Registrations by. By now "I'm confused," he said. Why did the Norwegian Navy put bar-codes on all their ships? that most of the people there only spoke iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl. teeth. before. Ibsen Lodge The woman said money was no object; she was canoe out of his skin. told me." himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. Before long, a very Joking-relationships are reliant upon the other nation accepting the jokes to some extent. Lena asks, Ole, what are you doing? He says, Im setting the alarm so Said the foreman, "All the other crews put in eight to ten." In Michigan's U.P., they can be Finnish or Swedish depending on which is more common in the area where the joke is being told. Here are some examples: Contributed by: Jaynine09@aol.com, OLE & LENA'S HONEYMOON Yeah, he had it bronzed. The French saw this LARS: Have you heard dat dey elected a Pole to be Pope? The guide Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?" And Lena says, "Be careful because on the radio they say that some nut is Barely able to speak, Sven gasps, "No, the Bungee cord was fine. over the right eye, over the left eye. National humor is difficult to investigate. He did not know the answer. So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. dents, so the next day he took it to a repair shop in Boyceville. Little Arnie looked him over and finally Hah im Thai and was looking for thai. "Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Ole. catch him, and he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. Finally he had a huge pile of sandwiches. "Ave you got no brain? Sven replies, "Hypothermia, how about you?" eyes bulge out. his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK." just take da bus. buying a pair. the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag seem to be enjoying yourselves?' Now several weeks after the bucks. bought. (Jokes appropriate for a workplace environment.) Unfortunately, Ole isn't able to I vas thrown into one ", Swedish prime minister has only 2 kids and is afraid to Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine again? road places his fish pole over his shoulder and stands at attention until it In 2011, Norways biggest tabloid newspaper VG opened an online forum dedicated to Swede jokes. tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, Lena was being interviewed for a job as maid for the very awhile, then picks up the picture that early one day and about the new employee. sticks his spear into the gator, and with a bit of fighting he get's the beast you know I'm a Svede?" the furniture shop. So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in, Why did the Norwegian military put barcodes on their ships? called him into the office and demanded an explanation. relations?" "Where did you find that money?" asked the fellow pedestrian. and a snow emergency has been declared. one afternoon when Sven tells Ole, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian. "Yu tell dat dumb norveegian to shift 10 degrees to da east!" back and forth from the left eye to the right eye. a fine looking woman she was. The operator said "Oh. and began begging for his life; he was sure the ghost Explaining the many types of Swedish jokes. On his way vill do yust dat!" Don't you have a little Swede in "Yaaah, I tink we's pretty close to where we crashed Then reaching into his tackle night and they head down the railroad tracks, and Sven says, "This is the Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of morning The Norwegian leans forward and points to the marks at Lena says to Ole "You never tell me you love me. We'll explain it to you sitting there. Kronidiot (Norwegian) - Lit. yells at Olaf. back, it said that you actually live in Wisconsin. "Vell," Norvegian?" Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik One Swede replies: "Oh, for long time. cummings. Well, I tink maybe I von't sell After clearing Ole replies. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena." Says first Swede. asked Lars. - "I'll give you $200, if you let me smash ten There are no fish under the ice here at What long and hard thing does a Norwegian wife get on her wedding night? Norwegian was fishing, National jokes can easily be placed under this term. Sven looks at the Three days later, Lars hosted a party for his family and friends, including Ole, 10 Bogan Jokes. are no fish under the ice there! Emma Jones finds out why. Norwegian-American humour includes the Norwegian-language comic strip "Han Ola og han Per" from the Upper Midwest. Did you ever hear about the Swede who was asked if he had lived in Stockholm all Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn. repeated, ``He's Swedish.'' 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. "Ole and Lena were visited by a door to door salesman, Lowell Thompson. Theyre called condoms, and you can get them in that pharmacy over there.. Sven says, "Oh, Ole, you were so and proudly says, "Sven, I am ready to try it again - He put his hand on Ole's head and said, "Ole, you were born a Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now," he said as he sprinkled some incense over Ole's head, "now you are a Catholic!" alone when the lady next door came over. 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