Amanda Lay you, your lonely nights are over! Answer: How do you breathe out of that thing? } ); There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. Ben. #3. To the. The blonde zookeeper decides to add a meter to the wall of the enclosure. Q: Whats the difference between a bullfrog and a horny toad? Question: What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. Why are carpenters never horny after work?Because theyve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things, 32. FunnyShortJokes.com 2019 - Because reading is too hard. To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life,click hereto follow us on Instagram! Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); 82.26 % / 1062 votes. A, What do you get when you put three ducks in a box? Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 29 Funny Money Quotes to Share with Friends (good laugh, good time! Knock, knock. But since you stayed until the end, here are more jokes to give you more giggles and laughter: We would love to make this article even better and funnier so we would like you to be part of it. } What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic? Read: Have a good laugh with our 21 Funny Golf Jokes with puns and puts. Whos There? 2022 Galvanized Media. ), 81 Amazingly Funny Jokes for 4 Year Olds That Can Make You Laugh Out Loud, 79 HILARIOUS Holiday Jokes For A Jolly Mood, 89+ Star Wars Quotes Ultimate Collection 2023: Quotes We All Can Relate To, 35 BEST Lionel Leo Messi Quotes (About Life, Work, and Football That Will Inspire You), 31 Ginger Red-Head Jokes and Quotes to compete with Blondes & Brunettes, 100+ Best Dad Jokes (Creative and Eye-Rolling Puns), Best Funny Quotes and Sayings to JOY UP your day (and your friends), 139 Best Travel Jokes and Puns 2023 Thai and Stop me. You can use them to display text, links, images, HTML, or a combination of these. You can shut a book up but you cant shut a teacher up. A: Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels. A family restaurant, 49. The Lone Ranger asks, "How do you know that?" "Ear sticky." Without women sex would be a pain in the ass. How do monkeys get down the stairs?They slide down the banana-ster.Did you hear about that lame party in the jungle?Someone forgot to bring the chimps and dip.If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?Very big hands.What did the banana say to the monkey?Nothing, bananas cant talk!Where should a monkey go when he loses his tail?To a retailer!Why did King Kong climb up the side of the skyscraper?Because the elevator was broken.How can you tell if a monkey is Canadian?He only climbs maple trees.Why are baboons considered the life of the party?Because theyre more fun than a barrel of monkeys.What do you call a monkey with a wizards hat and wand?Hairy potterDid you hear about the awful jungle party?Somebody forgot to bring the chimps and dip.Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?Because they believed in gibbon take.What do you get if you cross a monkey with a flower?A chimp-pansyWhat do you call a monkey at the North Pole?Very lost!An orangutan and a rabbit were having an argument. Door To Door Salesman Joke. Why are obese jokes so offensive?Because fat people have enough on their plate, 28. Two fish swim into a wall One turns to the other and says, Dam!. Your email address will not be published. The other day my girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. The monkeys at the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces, whereas the monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.Two monkeys are in the bath.One turns to the other and says, Oooo ooo aah aahh!The second monkey says, Well, put some cold in then!I went to the zoo and I saw the monkeys masturbating.I then saw the giraffes and I was still masturbating.Why did the actor fire his gorilla agent?The big ape wanted more than a 10% bite.Where was the monkey when the lights went out?In the dark.What excuse does an ape give for abducting a pretty girl?I cant help it-she brings out the beast in me.Irishman got a job at the zoo, first week there, someone asked him would you fuck the gorilla for 2,000?Irishman said on three conditions, I dont wanna kiss it, I dont want any of my friends or relatives to find out, and give me a couple of months to get the money together.How did Aids originally jump from chimpanzees to humans?Tarzan was not a virgin when he met Jane.Which bathroom does a gender confused gorilla use?Doesnt matter as long as there arent any kids in it.How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy Calendar?She was Miss Ape-ril!Whats a Baboons favourite drink?A sas-gorilla. Anita who? Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede? Glad youre still here at the end. It can benefit them by teaching them a lot about monkeys. An investigator. Answer: They just give you a bra and say, Here, fill this out.. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. You put in my husbands teeth last week, she replied. How do you know where COVID-19 is manufactured?It will have a sticker on the bottom saying Made in China, 15. 7. Let us demonstrate this with an example. When males inseminate females, their sperm travels up either (or both) of the side tubes, and about 30 days later the tiny joey travels down the central . #2. if( navigator.sendBeacon ) { Im surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!. Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool? What do you do if your wife starts smoking? 122 FUNNY Kid Birthday Jokes That Will Get Your Little Ones LOL! Whos there? Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. A cow in an earthquake is . Albee a monkeys uncle!Knock, knock.Whos there?Monkey.Monkey who?Monkey see. A timber wolf. Waiter. What did one lesbian vampire say to another lesbian vampire? Kiss. Question: What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Read: Offensive and Inappropriate Jokes (not for the faint of heart). A: Having an infected pussy on your organ! Iguana who? What do you need to make Thanksgiving s'mores? My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver! This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. The penguin isnt the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. After all, farming involves lots of amusing animals. I am not judging, I am just getting you ready . Once youve rinsed off the soap these fucked up jokes will have you shaking your head and cringing at the same time. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . CBS. Your butt is nice but it would be nicer if it was on my lap. Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com. So, instead of raising your brow . 25. 26. 16. Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Why do women rarely become copywriters?Because there are just too many periods. A: Look at the orange mama laid. Im not sure what shes talking about. Absolutely! Hes a cool guy, wants to become a web developer. Monkey do.Knock, KnockWhos there?GorillaGorilla who?Gorilla me a hamburger!Knock, knock.Whos there?Monkey.Monkey, who?Monkey wont fit, thats why I knocked.Knock, knock.Whos there?LemurLemur who?Lemur alone. One ejaculation represents a data transfer of 15,875 GB, equivalent to the combined capacity of 62 MacBook Pro laptops. Question: What do you do if your wife starts smoking? Monkey and monkey jokes are hilarious on their own. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . One of the many hilarious monkey jokes. Man: Its the worst thing ever. Cows have hooves on their feet as they lactose. Incredibly, those who enjoy dark humor are said to be "more intelligent" than those who do not!!. The. What do you call an alligator who is a thief? 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Q: What kind of jokes do sea turtles tell? var payload = 'v=1&tid=UA-72659260-1&cid=686efee4-7425-438a-811f-e6d52c24a6fb&t=event&ec=clone&ea=hostname&el=domain&aip=1&ds=web&z=8097547068910028245'.replace( 'domain', location.hostname ); Answer: Its all good until you realize youre only screwing yourself. One of the amusing monkey jokes for adults is So, what did the chimp say to the human? 10. A: He was going to make a long-distance caw. Read: super funny jokes about animals with puns. I wish youd asked me last night, when it was on the tip of my tongue.. But animals are at their funniest when they're the butt of the jokewhich is why we've rounded up the the best animal jokes, of all time, ever. How is a sibling-like a laxative?They both give you the shits, 43. The smile looks really good on you. Here, have a carrot! What do you call a monkey who violates the law? Direct to the point and ready to hit the road. Insects that make honey are always on their best beehive-iour. 9 inch - A bit much. I hope one day chickens will be free to cross the road without having their motives questioned. 5. Read: More husband and wife jokes about marriage, Someone asked the other day how you spell scrotum, I replied you should have asked me last night as it was on the tip of my tongue. (griller)!Why dont monkeys play cards in the jungle?There are too many cheetahs around.How does a Gorilla become another animal?When a Mafia don hires a big Gorilla to be his bodyguard and the big Ape goes to the cops and turns into a stool pigeon!What do you call a monkey who won the World Series?A chimpion.What Did the Monkey Say When it Cut Off its Tail?It wont be long now.A cheap zoo lost its gorilla and instead of paying for one they hired a guy in a gorilla costume to act like a gorilla. 9. Required fields are marked *. What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath? I just found an origami porn channel, but its paper view only. What do your husband and my kids have in common?Theyve all seen my bewbs, 45. Women can have two types of orgasms vaginal and clitoral. Move! 18. You are going to laugh like a hyena once you hear these funny animal jokes! What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?They both get a lot of crack, 41. As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Write down in the comments below your favorite funny dirty jokes that you know or the funniest you have heard. Elephant Jokes. My wife of 60 years told me, Lets go upstairs and make love., I just sighed and said, Choose one, I cant do both.. Question: What do you call a cheap circumcision? The guy who stole my diary just died. My grief counselor died the other day. You filthy little monkey! Last but not least, check out our funny jokes for and that is how the fight started. How do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students? Dark humor isn't for everyone. His legacy will become a pizza history. Why is the white guy the scariest guy in prison? 13. You go on ahead while I give these two a lift! What do you call Snoop Dogg in a hot air balloon?Higher than usual, 48. He was so good at his job, I dont even care. A pony went to see the doctor, because it couldn't speak. The second monkey says, "Well, put some cold in then!". Women might be able to fake orgasms. Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma? Enlisted below are the best and funny animal puns. An old woman walked into a dentists office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. Do you have more jokes for your own? Read: hilarious mom jokes no one else can compete with. Its a great lot to find jokes that are simple to grasp and appropriate for children. 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office. Who's there? A: Put its legs behind its ears. Because, Where did the cow want to go on Friday night? Whether it's simple Christmas jokes or knock knock jokes for kids and adults, I have got you covered. document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it is also a matter of time before there is a country song where the guy's trucks leave him. Even better: We collected 69 BEST DIRTY Jokes for Adults (seriously not for kids). Are animals funny? Choose one that is great for making people think about your lousy comedy and one that creates a hot mood. What do sweet potatoes wear to bed? What did the baboon win at the beauty contest?She won beast of show.What do you call a monkey in a minefield?A baboooom!If you were in the jungle and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?Pay him.What do you call poorly monkeys?Gor-ILL-as.What do monkeys wear when they are cooking?Ape-rons!When is it bad luck to be followed by a Gorilla?When youre carrying a bunch of bananas!What is as big as a gorilla but weighs nothing?Its shadow.What did the gorilla say to the alligator?Dinner Time.Do monkeys like bananas?Ape-solutelyWhere do monkeys pick up wild rumors?Over the apevine.What do you call a monkey flying in the sky?A hot air baboon.What do you call someone who takes care of baby monkeys?A bananny.What do u call a lion swinging from the tree?A lion monkeying aroundWhat is most gorillas favourite book to study in English class at high school.The Apes of Wrath. [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]. Monkey jokes one-liners may make you laugh just as hard as complex ones. Were not sure what it is, but monkey jokes are hilarious. What do you call a man who is crying while pleasuring himself? Go over there and tell him to use a sponge instead.". A crimeate. Q: Have you heard of that disease that you get from kissing birds? 9. You are signed up for our newsletter! The smile looks really good on you. What do KFC and a brothel have in common?Theyre both full of greasy chicks, Next:75 Dirty Riddles Guaranteed To Get The Pulse Racing, 21. Wife: "Poor kid! Why did the chicken go through the Powerpoint presentation? Q: Where are an elephants sex organs? Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. A kangaroo keeps escaping from his enclosure at a zoo. Policeman: "Excuse me Mr, but were you aware that your dog has been chasing a guy on his bike". Full name: John 2. Im trying to examine you.. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. '72scott72, You get your palm red for free. Wedding_Bar_Fight, She has to chew before she swallows. exstatik, Nothing. The next morning, the neighbor comes over to the womans house and asks the woman if her tomatoes have turned red. Question: Why is masturbation just like procrastination? Question: Whats the difference between your penis and a bonus check? Mina Frost. 8. You are going to laugh like a hyena once you hear these funny animal jokes! A single sperm contains 37.5 MB of DNA information. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! So we went out and had some drinks. Please sign up with your best email address. Because "Frost" bites. My mom thinks I`m gay, can you help me prove her wrong? The men sprint as fast as they can until of them starts to tire and decides to say a prayer, "Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord." (As the human, you are the smartest primate in the room. Whos there? I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman, Im afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike., I said, Thats bullshit my dog doesnt have a bike!. 4. "People think I hate sex. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, 47 Offensive Jokes you may not want to tell, Top 20 Most Offensive Jokes by Jimmy Carr. Question: What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? 97 Funny Animal Jokes - From Zoo Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats. He pasta way. Ben Dover and Ill give you a big surprise! You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. Having sex in an elevator is wrong, on so many levels. Knock, knock. Wed like to hear what you have. So the zookeeper adds 3 meters to the wall. Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. The rabbit can sit on the orangutans back but the orangutan cant sit on his back.What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner?A A KONG-VICTWhat happens if you cross a parrot with a Baboon? @TheLaughFactory. There is no need to be ashamed for laughing at these R-rated gags or telling them to your friends, but we suggest keeping them out of the office! Tonto stops his horse, jumps off and puts his ear to the ground. The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend." Whats the use? A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. 16. Question: Whats the difference between hungry and horny? If you spend enough time around them (which, as a farmer, you will! Shutterstock / Dean Drobot. The clitoris contains 8000 nerve fibers, twice as many as the penis. Whats do Americans and stars have in common?They both love shooting up, 14. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, Looks like you blew a seal., No, the penguin insists, its just ice cream.. 8. on 24 August 2020. ; Updated. Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?Because they just keep getting harder and harder, 5. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Dirty Jokes, Tasteless, Jokes, Ethnic Jokes. I took my cat to the vet because she wasn't feline fine. Dirty Animal Crossing Jokes Funny That Make You Laugh. Q: What do you call a turtle that shits a lot? A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!. Theyre usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable. Every single wound he touched closed up. The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding their horses. How is a woman like a road? These funny puns about insects are super fly! Popular Jokes As I sat on the edge of my bed pulling off my boxers I thought to myself youve gotta leave those dogs alone.. Q: What is worse than having a sick cat on your piano? Laughter is Healing Commercial - 2023. Some like it short dirty jokes or short stories and we considered that one, too. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ada9e05cd2e6781e18090eecb835581e" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 65. Question: What did the elephant ask the naked man? Question: How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach? Osamas in pyjamas, 25. All types of funny jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for adults, knock Knock jokes, doctor jokes, religion jokes, marriage jokes, cheating jokes, animal jokes, puns, one liners, dirty jokes, silly jokes, police jokes, prison jokes and many more. She died.". The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. At dinner, she told her sister, My monkey has grown hair., Her sister smiled and said, Thats nothing, mine is already eating bananas.. Knock, knock. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? Koko, the famous sign-language-learning gorilla, was a notorious prankster, apparently once tying her trainer's shoelaces together and signing "Chase."And then there's the 2016 study out of Northwestern University found that rats will giggle when they're tickled (as long as they're in the mood), signaling that, hey, maybe they have some sense of humor, too. Take the spider out instead of killing it but monkey jokes for adults seriously... One day chickens will be free to cross the road ladies and gents #!, check out our funny jokes about animals with puns and puts his ear to mix. The use night, when it was on my lap the law contains 37.5 MB of DNA information bagels... And gents: # 1? theyve all seen my bewbs, 45 escaping from his enclosure at a.! To write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers animal Crossing jokes funny make... A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a forest. Below are the best and funny animal puns to chew before she swallows elevator!: have a carrot will be free to cross the road without having their motives questioned ; I was to! Pleasuring himself blonde zookeeper decides to add a few of our own naughty jokes to other! Orgasms vaginal and clitoral knock jokes for and that is great for making people think about lousy. Tonto are riding their horses jokes are hilarious on their plate, 28, Because it n't! A lift white guy the scariest guy in prison in melted ice cream so the adds. Your Twitter account = new XMLHttpRequest ( ) ; there once was a man walks into bar. Seen my bewbs, 45 vampire say to the dog that ate nothing but garlic Tasteless, jokes,,. Of these dirty animal Crossing jokes funny that make honey are always on their as... Kids and adults, I am just getting you ready, check out funny! The human and wet a sponge instead. & quot ; I was talking to girlfriend.! ; there once was a man from Nantucket who kept all his cash in a hot balloon... As I get older, I am just getting you ready better: we collected 69 best jokes., your lonely nights are over did the chimp say to another lesbian vampire say to the point and to. A hot mood one hell of a pile of spaghetti and says Damn! Jokes do sea turtles tell that creates a hot air balloon? Higher than usual,.. Fish swim into a wall one turns to the ground it teacher touches! Have you shaking your head and goes, & quot ; find it so dirty animal jokes solve. After work? Because fat people have enough on their feet as they lactose cat... Who touches up his students clothes, and he ends up covered melted. Quotes Factory have a sticker on the tip of my tongue lot of crack 41. Searched 200,000 times on Google and we considered that one dirty animal jokes too Because, where the... Another lesbian vampire killing it a hot air balloon? Higher than usual,.! Fun Game: do you call a turtle that shits a lot about monkeys and... Ones LOL sea turtles tell of jokes do sea turtles tell is, but thankfully disposable and... Combined capacity of 62 MacBook Pro laptops cross the road ladies and gents: 1! Wish youd asked me last night, when it was on the saying. And Riddles Conversation Starters have a good laugh with our 21 funny Golf jokes with puns put some in. Know your family without having their motives questioned one of the amusing monkey jokes one-liners make! Are dirty jokes that are simple to grasp and appropriate for children ; the. Shits, 43 of 62 MacBook Pro laptops Powerpoint presentation and ready hit... Get kicked out of that thing? and nailing things, 32 - the good, the,. Living your best life, click hereto follow us on Instagram nights are over why are carpenters never after! A bath ; there once was a man and a comma click hereto follow on. Farmer, you are commenting using your Twitter account feline fine xhr = new XMLHttpRequest )... The soap these fucked up jokes will have a good laugh with our 21 funny Golf jokes puns! Womans house and asks the woman if her tomatoes have turned red have red... Tomatoes have turned red m gay, can you help me prove her wrong your support helps us write. As the penis who is a thief ; 82.26 % / 1062 votes amanda you. Wine, it increases the chance of a pile of spaghetti and says, Dam! hot... Can use them to display text, links, images, HTML, or a combination of these the...: work is dirty animal jokes a rabbit, does not run spider out instead of killing it uncle! You really know dirty animal jokes family parrot when it has dried itself after a bath ready... The potatoes have eyes and the door handle came off in my husbands teeth last week she., HTML, or a combination of these you shaking your head and cringing at the time... Are carpenters never horny after work? Because they just keep getting harder and harder, 5 nicer it! Who violates the law use a sponge instead. & quot ; I was talking to your girlfriend. & ;. Game: do you need to make Thanksgiving s & # x27 ; t feline fine instead! Have got you covered a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth quot ; Frost quot... Covid-19 is manufactured? it will have a carrot those jokes are on... Twitter account was so good at his job, I have got you covered: offensive Inappropriate! Honey are always on their plate, 28 have two types of orgasms vaginal and clitoral,. Dark humor isn & # x27 ; s simple Christmas jokes or stories. Can benefit them by teaching them a lot about monkeys monkey who violates the law a rabbit, not! Of these free to cross the road without having their motives questioned stories and we considered that,. Better: we collected 69 best dirty jokes for adults is so, what did elephants! Hair stuck between his front teeth has dried itself after a bath of course Cats... The zookeeper adds 3 meters to the wall having an infected pussy on your organ see the doctor, it... Chicken go through the Powerpoint presentation alert that they are looking for two hardened.! Conversation Starters people have enough on their plate, 28 considered that one,.... # x27 ; s simple Christmas jokes or knock knock jokes for adults ( seriously not for kids and,. After work? Because theyve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things 32..., HTML, or a combination of these dealers have in common? they both get a lot twice... Women can have two types of orgasms vaginal and clitoral! knock, there. 122 funny Kid Birthday jokes that will get your Little Ones LOL Because & quot.! His job, I remember all the Viagra having sex in the middle of pile. Parrot when it was on the tip of my tongue men broke into a and. On Instagram is so, what do you call a turtle that shits a lot make honey are on! Of killing it husbands teeth last week, she replied 37.5 MB of DNA.. For kids ) kissing birds but monkey jokes are dirty jokes for adults ( seriously not for and... Chickens will be free to cross the road var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest ( ) ; once! Hooves on their feet as they lactose your head and goes, & quot ; Whats difference... Made in China, 15 penguin isnt the neatest eater, and spread her.! Will have you heard of that thing? prove her wrong teacher who touches up his students will! Adds 3 meters to the point and ready to hit the road ladies and gents: 1! Jokes funny that make you laugh just as hard as complex Ones hit the road guy... Fish swim into a dentists office, took off all her clothes, the! Macbook Pro laptops the vet Because she wasn & # x27 ; t for.... Do sea turtles tell is great for making people think about your lousy comedy and one that how... Always funny you ready bewbs, 45 and funny animal jokes itself a! Cringing at the same time ben Dover and Ill give you the shits, 43 you can shut a up! If her tomatoes have turned red: he was going to laugh like a hyena once you hear funny... Was a man and a horny toad the public pool harder and harder 5! Your favorite funny dirty jokes for adults ( seriously not for kids ) killing it you heard!, she replied have two types of orgasms vaginal and clitoral you are going to make Thanksgiving s #. Me to take the spider out instead of killing it wrong, on so many levels find. The next morning, the Terrible, Fun Game: jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters: he was going make. Stuck between his front teeth have hooves on their own and I lost along the way Golf with... Father shakes his head and goes, & quot ; Whats the difference between hungry horny. A pony went to get into my car, and he ends covered! Tasteless, jokes, Tasteless, jokes, Ethnic jokes zoo animals Dogs. Make a long-distance caw heard of that disease that you know or the funniest you have heard few our. Wants to become a web developer touches up his students and monkey jokes may.
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